Keep the Fire Burning

I know I didn't post my weigh in this week. I have been sick since Tuesday and I am still trying to get back to 100%. I have a lovely case of bronchitis (ain't nobody got time for that), snot that will make your grass weep with jealousy in its fervent green color, and about as much energy as a sunflower (you know lift your head when the sun rises...lay it back down as the sun goes down). Alright I will stop complaining...really I would rather be outside running! I only ran Monday last week and haven't done anything since then. Monday I went to Zumba with my dear friend and then went for a run afterwards. When I was at Zumba I did a weigh-in and got measured at the time the scale said 238 and  I had lost another 1/2 inch off my waist (no change on bust or hips...darn hips won't budge)...however when I weighed in on Wednesday my scale said 243....I would like to think it's the amount of crud in my chest that is adding the extra pounds...because I had been spot on with my calories...so that is why I decided to simply bypass this weeks weigh-in and let my body do as it pleases (just this once)! 

I didn't get to share that I found the most amazing trail ever! As it turns out I wasn't ever on the actual Bosque trail...I was running parallel of it...so if I head east back over the Rio Grande I found the actual Bosque Trail!! :D It excites me ever so much because it reminds me of a greenway that me and my sister (Erika) went running at in Clarksville, Tennessee when we were out there for my brother David's wedding. This is a picture that I took of the greenway in Tennessee: (clearly not here in NM given all the H2O and Greenery) 

While the scenery here in New Mexico leaves much to be desired it was beautiful nonetheless and this is what it looks like:

you have to use a little imagination...but there is a little stream of water
(that is not pictured off to the right) along this trail

And me running very happily! Enjoying the
site and smell!! Love the smell of spring!

Since I have had so much time to me and my sick self I have been doing some thinking...and I'm super frustrated because I had been crushing it week after week in my weigh-ins....and now I seem to have come to a stand still. I know Plateaus are supposed to be good because it means your body is meeting the challenge you've set out for it...but it also means harder work is now in store. My nutrition has got to be on the spot...because regardless of all the hard work I put in at the gym, on my runs, or in the pool it all comes down to what I putting in my mouth and how much I'm putting in! This week I have been trying to meticulously count every calorie I put in my mouth...yesterday I roasted some butternut squash (yummy) and it reminded me how much I really enjoy roasted veggies! I had been roasting any and every kind of veggie you could imagine...I've roasted broccoli, cauliflower, squash (of all kinds), carrots, green beans, cabbage, the list goes on and on...and this is such an easy (and delicious) way to consume and add veggies to ones diet! I think I'm going to try to stick right around 1,400 calories. I think that number allows me to have decent meals and a couple good snacks throughout the day and I don't feel starved by the end of the day! 

I have had some time to think about what it will be like when I do hit my goal. What do I think will happen? I sometimes imagine the winner on the biggest loser or the big reveal on extreme makeover weight loss edition...it all seems so glamorous....so exciting...but is that real? This process has taught me that losing weight is so much more than becoming a smaller person...it's about learning to love yourself and accept that we are all human and fall short of the worlds standards of beautiful. If I think that when I hit a certain weight all of my insecurities, doubts, and self-loathing will disappear...well, then I know this journey will have taught me nothing. The whole process of losing weight is learning to love yourself, having faith in what you can accomplish, and having the confidence to get out there each and every day and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of the people you love. Weight loss is so much more about the mental, emotional, and spiritual changes that occur than it is the physical changes. It's about learning that food will always be there, it's not going out of fashion or on the verge of extinction...so it's okay to put down the fork and say, "I'm okay!" When I've hit my calorie limit I have to remind myself that what I want to eat tonight will still be there tomorrow...it's not going to be my friend and make me feel cozy, and loved, and wanted, or desired... 

I'm a ways from where I want to be but I'm learning that beauty truly comes from within. The way we feel, live, and act is to be beautiful. It's not the skin..the hair...the makeup...the size of your body...it's the virtue, the character, the soul of an individual that makes them beautiful. I think we've confused being pretty with being beautiful. No amount of weight loss can make me feel what has been within me all along. I'm slowly learning what 1 Peter 3:4 really means, "You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."