Get It!

The last few days have been very good! I'm so sore. My body aches, my bones throb, my joints are stiff...and I'm moving about as fast as a snail running through peanut butter...but I'm up and moving and that's all that really matters! I've had some good workouts these last few days. I forget how good I feel when I workout. Getting out the door is definitely the hardest part...and sometimes the first 10 minutes of the workout...but once you're going it's best to just enjoy it as much as possible. Erika joined me in a late night workout Thursday! We went to the gym and rode bikes, I used the row machine for a while, then we did some circuit training...using the large rope that you see them use on the biggest loser (dang is that a good workout), did ab work, jumped rope...made Erika stick her hand in a super sweaty boxing glove (sorry about that sis!) and then used the kettle ball! It was so much fun to be working out like that again...and with my sister. Workouts are so much better with someone! 

I went home then, had dinner and went to bed! The only chocolate that I had Thursday was from a pre-planned luna bar...nutty over chocolate is what the bar is called. When I got home Thursday night I remember looking in the mirror and saying, "Maggie, you are beautiful!" It feels good to speak kindly to myself. There are times that I look in the mirror and roll my eyes...but I'm trying to stop myself when that happens and make myself find something that I like about whatever I'm groaning about! It's a process...and it's slow and harder than one would think to be kind to ones self...but it feels good!

YOU! Are Beautiful!

Yesterday I got to go on my run...it was slow and I had to walk a bit because I am so stiff...but I got my 4 miles in...I even got to go swimming in the evening with Erika and her family! I'm such an awkward swimmer. I wish I could watch myself swim...I'm sure it must be entertaining...but Erika reminded me it was my workout and it didn't matter what it looked like! So we both swam 1,000 meters and then played with Andrik and Ander for a while! I almost died laughing when we walked into the shower room on base and I saw the most fantastic sign. I'm thinking there must be a high rate of MRSA occurring on base because there are signs everywhere about MRSA prevention...I told Erika I had to take a picture with the sign...

Bare Buns Pass MRSA...well, there go
my plans for the night!

I made it through yesterday without any chocolate. I did dream however about chocolate...so my subconscious is definitely struggling! I woke up and my mouth was watering...but I survived. I'd say my average calorie intake for this week is around 1500! That is really the perfect amount. It allots for a decent breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and a couple of snacks! My favorite snack lately has been a tablespoon of peanut butter...not the norm for me...but I'm enjoying it while it taste good. 

This morning I went on a run with Erika and our dear friend, Erin. I got to meet Erin initially while Erika and Drew were stationed in Florida. Erin and her family are here at Kirtland for a little while as well before they go back to Florida. Erin will be running the Dallas Rock 'N Roll Half Marathon with us...it has been so much fun to run with her. She's such a joy, so real, so honest, so transparent...my kinda gal. I can fart on my runs with her, spit, cough up phlegm....it's a beautiful friendship. She and Erika have been so encouraging and loving to me on this journey. A couple weeks ago after one of our runs they both could tell I was struggling. When asked what was wrong I told them how frustrated I was with myself and how tired I am of fighting my weight. They held me, let me cry, prayed for me, and then spoke life and truth into me. I can't begin to say how thankful I am to have these two amazing women in my life. They love me...mess and all...and haven't left yet...until the Air Force tells them otherwise! 

Me, Erin, and Erika...Kindred Spirits <3

Todays run was a little rough. I've been hit with intestinal distress the last couple days...and so with 1.25 miles left I had to make a pitstop at a gas station to expel my insides. The struggle is real folks. Don't try and pretend that you don't know what diarrhea is. When the goosebumps and abdominal cramps happen...you've got to make a dash for the closest bathroom! I'm still getting over this darn cold as well...this run helped me expel more than my bowels...it also helped me clear my lungs...As David told me when I first started running, "Mags, when you run...if you have to fart, fart! If you have to burp, burp! If you have to blow a snot rocket, blow a snot rocket!" My brother is a wise man and today I more than headed his advice. My sleeve looked like a kleenex by the time I was done running!

Got snot?!

A girl has got to do what a girl has got to do! Well, I've got to jet...off to get this weekend started. My run is in, I'm going to go have breakfast with the women at my church and then see what other kinds of shenanigans I can get into! Have a great weekend!

The journey continues...

Tonight I am tired. Yet, I managed to get my workout in...and I had another successful nutrition day, so long as after this post I just eat my dinner and then go to bed. I didn't have any candy today and the only chocolate that I had was in my Luna bar that I brought for my late afternoon snack! It was perfect. Drinking more water again today...It's hard for me to drink water at work so I use crystal light as well to help make it easier. It really does help my cravings when I'm staying hydrated. Wow, you mean to tell me, that all those times they said we mistake hunger for thirst...they may have been right!?! Who would've thunk! ;)

My workout today was a cardio circuit. One of my friends told me about fitnessblender.com  and this website has a ton of different workouts. You can choose the equipment you have available, how long you want to workout, what area you want to work. Tonight I did their apartment workout...which is quieter cardio workouts...not less intense, however. I have some lovely neighbors beneath me who don't appreciate it whenever I workout. They have gotten some kind of tool, I imagine a broom, that they use to bang on their ceiling whenever I workout...tonight was a success though...no banging of the broom!! Yay! 

There are times I still don't like to go to the gym...I just want to workout in private, no stares, no thoughts of what people are thinking, just me, panting, sweating, and red faced; enjoying my workout! 

Yesterday I got a great surprise in the mail from my brother, David and my darling sister, Elise:

I'm really excited for the recipes in the book. They all look fairly simple and easy...I was going to make salmon tonight...but I forgot to defrost it...so tuna salad it is.

Well, I am exhausted and have to be at work bright and early so I'm going to go make dinner, scrub my teeth, and head off to bed! Thank you all for the encouragement that you've given me! It makes this journey a lot easier...like I said, it's not pretty, I'm just being honest with where I'm at...but I see the light...it's a ways off...but at least I'm headed in the right direction now! 

It has been a while since I've shown off the guns!

Pressing On!

Why hello again, I know, back so soon! Get used to it. So I'll give you a quick rundown since my last post. Sunday I didn't really count my calories, however, when Monday came around I decided I was going to add everything in regardless of how many calories I ate. I was shocked when, after eating a handful (and then some) of chocolates, that it added up to 545 calories. Just in chocolate! I'm really embarrassed by that, yet, I'm just happy that I finally added up the calories. It's making more and more sense how I've gained back weight so quickly and easily. I don't have just a sweet tooth...I have a freaking sweet rack of teeth, jaw, tongue, lips, you name it...if I have it it wants sweets. I managed a 30 minutes elliptical workout last night...and I think I was able to just about break even as far as my calories were concerned. Monday I weighed in at 239.8. I'll weigh-in again next Monday!

Last night I had to destroy a bag of captain crunch cereal. It was calling my name and I panicked! As I have shared before, motivation is but a fleeting moment and must be seized right away...so I took my bag of captain crunch, went to my kitchen sink, ran water into the bag so that even after it was thrown away I couldn't go back and reclaim it later. Yeah, I'm not ashamed...I will 100% go dumpster diving in my own trash can. Hence the need to literally destroy the food so that it could not be consumed at a later time when my determination was not so strong and I reached for it out of the trash can! It felt good to do that!

Today was a great day (I have to make sure to go straight to bed after writing this to ensure I don't spoil it by doing something stupid). Today I did not eat a single piece of chocolate at work!! I had 2 german nougats from a coworker...but that is it. There were multiple times where I went to reach for a chocolate and had to slap my hand away, say to myself, "don't panic, breath, take a slow deep breath, you don't need that, drink water." Staying hydrated is great; it's also a real inconvenience! I had to pee (like a normal person) 8 times today! I know this certainly helped me in avoiding chocolates.

I realized today how habitual my chocolate eating has become. I will literally grab for it like clock work.I told one of my coworkers today at work that I felt like an alcoholic in a bar or liquor store. "Hi, my name is Maggie, and I'm a chocoholic." Everything chocolate screamed my name today: chocolate covered raisins, twix, milky way, 3 musketeers...there were cupcakes, bagels, chips and dip, punch...it all was calling my precious nickname: "Magelicious you know you want me!" To which I replied, "Heck yes I want you, but my thighs don't, my stomach doesn't, and you're not going to satisfy me...so start stepping...bye!" (I hope you ready that in a valley girl accent)

It's going to take a while to break this habit but I know that it will be completely worth it in the long run. This doesn't mean I won't ever eat chocolate. It's all about portion control...however, at this exact moment, I don't have portion control! Until that time comes I'm going to try to continue to say no to the sweets. If it is planned and accounted for in my calories then I'm okay with me having it...but this constant grabbing and snacking has got to stop.

I'm exhausted...but I feel good. I'm pressing on! Its these little decisions that add up in the long run. I know I will have the same temptations in front of me tomorrow and it will be just as much of a struggle. They're always going to be there. I know it'll get easier...but I also anticipate it getting harder before it gets easier...and that's okay. It's where I'm at....but not where I'm going to stay. With that being said...I shall bid you all a goodnight and leave you with a post-workout selfie! 

Just finished my post-workout snack:
Broccoli salad & Almonds w/ dried cranberries