Saturday, August 16, 2014

One year older...

I am so fortunate to be able to celebrate another birthday! When I look back on this past year so much has happened that I never could've even imagined for myself and it's clear to me that the hand of God is guiding me daily and I couldn't be more grateful for the work He is doing in my life! One year ago I was at 308 pounds, heavy burdened, embarrassed, hiding, afraid, ashamed, and unsure of where I was going. I never would've imagined that I would have started, committed, and stuck to this weight loss journey! I tried to find a picture of me on my birthday but I was unable to find here is a picture of me about a month after my birthday last year!

September 2013
I look at that picture and it breaks my heart. I held so much in for so long. I hid my hurt, my fears, my joys, my sorrow, my doubts...everything was hidden inside...along with a tub of ice cream, a couple burritos, some peanut m&m's...and whatever else I could get my hands on. 

A year ago I was a nurse working the night shift and today I'm a charge nurse on the day shift...that in and of itself is evidence of God working in my life. I never knew to even pray for that position or hope to be in that position but God orchestrated everything for me to be in this position. 

A year ago a couldn't run a mile without walking and today I ran 9 miles!!! If you were to have told me that on my 24th birthday that I'd be running 9 miles I would have laughed in your face! Yet here I am...9 miles later:

Me and Abbie!
As a side note some of you may or may not know that I love the store Anthropologies! I think they have the most adorable clothes, house ware, cookware, etc. It has been a dream of mine to one day be able to shop at anthropologies for more than mugs and house ware items! Well today not only did I buy an adorable sweater from there but I got to try on one of their amazing dresses...and guess what?! It fit! Now I didn't feel the need to spend $150 on a dress...but I had just as much satisfaction putting it on and having no problem pulling up the zipper! Of course I had to take a here's a picture of me and Abbie in our Anthropology dresses (hehe...don't be jealous of my socks!):

I used to eat ice cream to try to silence my emotions and feelings. Tonight I had ice cream as a treat and enjoyed and savored every last bite:

note the empty gelato container!
I'm learning that I'm so much stronger than I ever imagined, that there's more to me than meets the eye! I'm a freaking fighter! I want to help people see the fighter in them too! I'm so blessed to have a family full of believers. My parents both believe in me, my sibling support me (including 6 of them signing up to run the half marathon with me), my friends stand by me...I mean I'm truly blessed!

Me and my momma!
I was doing some research yesterday and I am 44 pounds away from being considered a "normal weight" which is 178 pounds for me. This weight will put me at a BMI of 24.9 (25 is considered overweight). It blows my mind because I remember when I had lost 40 pounds and couldn't believe how much farther I had to go. It's not an easy's slow and it's a daily battle! But the transformation that occurs not only on the outside but on the inside is so worth the battle that is fought to get here. So while I'm not at my goal yet I'm realizing how amazing it is to have even made it this far. 

Now then, what is my wish for this next year? Well if I told you then it wouldn't come true ;) But it goes a little something like this: complete my first half marathon, get to 178 pounds, complete my BSN, help others on their weight loss journey, continue to learn and grow as a nurse, and continue to allow God to shape and mold me into the woman he wants me to be! So with that said...thank you all for the birthday wishes and tune in for my weigh-in on Monday...let's hope the ice cream doesn't stick to my thighs or any other unwelcome part of my body! ;)

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