The Fight to be Fit!

I’ve thought a lot about writing about my weight loss journey, but I haven’t wanted to because it makes me uncomfortable. Then today as the thought of writing about my weight loss made me uncomfortable I realized that I have been uncomfortable my entire life. The process of losing weight is not comfortable and but I’m on my way to becoming what I hope will be a more comfortable future. It’s uncomfortable seeing the weight that I am (and have been) on the scale, it’s even more uncomfortable sharing that number with my family and beyond uncomfortable sharing it with the entire world. But I think that’s what I need. I need to step so far out of my comfort zone that I don’t want to go back to what I was before. So, here’s to stepping out of my comfort zone and consciously choosing each and every day that I don’t want to be where I have been my entire life. Deciding that obesity cannot beat me. Believing that I am stronger than I feel, braver than I believe, and smarter than I seem! (thanks for that quote Christopher Robin)

So with that said…My name is Maggie, I am obese, I have been overweight my entire life. I’m in the process of losing weight and making lifestyle changes that I can live with for the rest of my life. I am currently 272 pounds and I have lost 48 pounds. My highest weight was 320 pounds and I can’t even remember being less than 270 lbs. I have several entries that I wrote anticipating starting a blog and in one of them I describe where I’ve been and where I’m headed, so I will try not to be too repetitive here! I will post them soon! :)

I am a registered nurse and I love what I do, however, every day I feel a little hypocritical when I’m educating my patients on diet, exercise, and lifestyle changes. That’s what I call talking out of both ends of your mouth. I want to be the person that can tell my patients, “look I know this isn’t easy, but if I can do it, so can you!” I want to be able to face them without being ashamed of the weight I try to hide!

My shirt says, "I Run I'm slower than Internet explorer on a 90's dial up connection but I run!"

In a post that is soon to come I will tell you about getting up to 320 pounds. I then lost 40 pounds and got down to 280, but then regained and went back up to 305. I know people talk about the moment when the light bulb turned on. I didn’t have that moment. It wasn’t a picture that I looked at, there wasn’t a huge accident or incident that led me to realize I needed to change or die. I think it was a bunch of small moments. The look of disgust and disapproval I have always received from those I don't know, the disappointment I feel when I look at myself, the things I am not able to do because of my weight, the incessant  sweating that happens because of my weight, letting those who victimized me have the upper hand... I think it all just finally hit its breaking point and I decided that I was going to fight to be fit! I wasn’t going to be a victim, I wasn’t going to let those around me influence how I felt about myself, I was going to change. It had to start with me. No one else can do this for me and no one else can motivate me enough to make me continue to do it. I have to decide on the life I want to live…and I want to live a healthy life to the fullest. So I’m finally standing up and I’m fighting, because I’m worth it, because I deserve a second chance, and because I love myself! So if this gives you a little inspiration and helps you reach your breaking point or gives you guidance on your journey…awesome! If you just want motivation or to be motivating…awesome! Whatever brings you here; I hope that I can be a little light and a little beacon of inspiration to you!