One Day At A Time

So weight loss is very challenging. What is my greatest hindrance when it comes to shedding the weight? Well, I’ve shared some struggles already…eating my worries away, hiding from my pain, lack of physical activity etc. Facing those struggles is something I’m consciously working on and improve upon every day. Aside from the previously mentioned there are other battles I have to fight to keep this journey going.

One of my most difficult challenges is that I work the night shift. Because of this I go back and forth between days and nights. Now that may not seem too terrible, but it poses a great difficulty when it comes to what, when, and how much I eat.

Let me give you an example of how this looks for me. Let’s say that I work Thursday night at 1900 (7 pm). This means I need to sleep during the day Thursday. This also means Wednesday I’m up from 1000 until about 0400 Thursday morning. So I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner Wednesday and then try not to snack after about 2200 Wednesday night. I then wake up at approximately 1400 (yes, I love my sleep…it’s not at all uncommon for me to be able to sleep 12+ hours the day before I go into work, I’m a sleep snob and I won’t deny it). My first day of work it’s easy(er) for me to get up and workout since I’m not exhausted from the night before. So I do my workout, come home, get cleaned up, I eat a “breakfast” which is really more like a dinner and then head to work. At work I normally eat my lunch around 0000-0400 (depending on how the night goes) and then when I get home I eat a breakfast/snack (being careful not to throw myself into a binge after a typically emotionally draining night at work) and then head to bed. So that’s all fine and dandy. I’ve learned to count my calories for a 24-hour period since my one day is really two half days combined. I’ve finally got a system down for tracking my eating in myfitnesspal for the days I work. If I go to work on a Thursday then I track all the food I eat (even on Friday morning) under my Thursday diary. Then when I get up Friday evening I write my calories under my Friday diary. Now, I have a particular struggle with my last day of work. For instance I worked Saturday night and got off Sunday morning. The hard part is figuring out when to restart my “day” as far as counting calories is concerned. The best I’ve come up with is I normally take a nap at some point during the day so when I wake up I normally start my calorie count over at that point. I think I have it down pretty good, but it still throws me for a loop every once and a while!

WOW…that was all very difficult to articulate so I hope that you are able to make sense of my nonsense and understand what I am saying. The 24-hour system seems to be the best I’ve come up with…if I come up with any better ideas I will share them, or if you have any ideas that are useful I am willing to hear them too. There are girls that go the entire shift without eating…and I sure as heck CANNOT do that! I guess they eat a large meal before coming in and then eat a large breakfast when they get home…that just spells disaster for me personally. It would not be safe for me, or the patients that I care for, to go all night long without eating. Yes, you’d be requesting a new nurse posthaste! Other girls snack every couple hours, which is also hard for me because I somehow can never seem to find enough time to squeeze in a snack every couple of hours…blessings on those nurses who can and do!

Now I suppose I didn’t really answer my aforementioned question, “what is my greatest hindrance when it comes to shedding the weight?” What I just wrote about are not so much hindrances seeing as how they are something I would have to deal with regardless of if I was trying to lose weight or not. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a hindrance as, “a person or thing that makes a situation difficult.” I didn’t need a dictionary, however to tell me that I am my greatest deterrent when it comes to losing weight. Until I decide it’s important enough I can make all the excuses until I’m blue in the face (or in my case, covered in cake)! So every day I wake up weight loss is on my mind. The decision between going to McDonalds for lunch or making something at home is a constant battle in my head. The desire to stay on my couch and not go outside for my run is a scenario I'm all too familiar with. I am my own worst enemy..but I'm working on becoming my best friend!

I thought I would share these pictures with everyone…This is me at my highest weight of 320 lbs. I can see a difference now in my face. I didn’t gain the weight over night and I won’t lose it overnight, but it is nice to see subtle changes...one day at a time! J

Back in the day when I was taking my CNA classes

Auscultating John's heart tones...or lack thereof? JK