Becoming a Fighter

Finding free time to write is not always easy so I will catch you up on the last few days. I’m deciding between Dirt for Dessert and Mind over Mudder for my dirty dash team name. I will make a decision by tonight and start the team tonight and let you know tomorrow the final decision (most likely decided by a coin toss)! I am super excited by the amount of interest people are showing in joining me for my third dirty dash! It’s going to be amazing…and ones you get dirty you will wonder why you waited to so long to sign up! J

I got off work yesterday morning and went home and took a 45-minute nap and then got up and went with my friend Krystal to a Zumbathon! She works at a credit union and they were hosting the Zumba event. All the money they raised went to the school that hosted the party…so it was a great workout and a great cause! This went from 1p-4p! 3 hours (technically 2.5 hours) of dancing around, having fun, and burning calories! 

Today I ran 5 miles in 71 minutes and averaged a 13:50 pace. Not too shabby! Halfway through my run I started thinking how running is very symbolic of the weight-loss process. (before I write my thoughts I just want to say how exciting it was to be able to actually think of something other than my breathing while I was running!) Every day my runs become less physically challenging (I still have quite a ways to go but I’m not where I was when I first started) and each run becomes increasingly mentally challenging. Like weight loss every day you are becoming lighter and healthier and closer to your goal weight and each day it proves to be even more mentally challenging to stay focused and keep your eye on the prize. In running it’s easy to get discouraged by someone who is way ahead of you, there’s that deep longing to be where they’re at and to be able to keep up with them, and then there’s the person that’s still behind you and for a moment you’re proud of where you are and how far you’ve made it. This is similar to weight loss where it’s easy to be discouraged when you see individuals who have already lost the weight and realize how far you still have to go but then are quickly reminded by those who are just starting out how far you have made it, regardless of how far you have to reach your goal!

I’ve had a thought/topic that I wanted to share, I just wasn’t sure when I would share it and today it came up again so I figure what better time to share with you all! I wrote this a while back when I was contemplating writing this blog…brace yourself this is another long one!

Sometimes people just need to keep their mouths shut…or as Thumper’s mother taught him, “If you can’t say nothing nice…don’t say nothing at all!” I’m writing this because I have experienced some harsh words from individuals that I’ve never even met in my life and I want to be an encouragement to others who may have encountered the same thing.

I don’t know why people feel they can freely yell, comment, or holler at someone while they’re exercising. Especially an overweight person who is outside, self-conscious of every jiggle, and attempting to run/walk…and minding their own business! I’ve had three different instances (now four) where people have yelled at me as I’m exercising outside.

The first time this happened to me I was about 310 pounds and still in nursing school. I was running on the bike path and came to a crossroad. I was running to the crosswalk and a guy in a black truck sticks his head out his window, throws his (thankfully empty) fast food cup and trash at me and yells, “KEEP RUNNING FAT B!%*H, YOU’RE F@#$%*G NASTY!!!” I was so hurt and wounded that all I could do was keep running, I wanted to run away from those nasty words that stung my heart, I wanted to run away from those feeling of insecurity that are continually trying to reclaim me as their hostage. While those words hurt and stung I was also thankful they had been said to me and not someone else. I was able to remind myself who I know who I am and why I do what I do. I was able to remind myself that I was worth fighting for. I was hurt, but I wasn’t discouraged, I was spat on, but I wasn’t defeated.

The second time I was yelled at I was going along golf course that has a road running east to west. I was headed East, so I was facing cars headed West. I was about 295 pounds and had just gotten back into exercising…so I was in the middle of a running interval and was having a mental battle within. Everything within me wanted to quit. So I’m sure you could see the struggle on my face and right as I’m ready to just quit and walk a car drives by, rolls down their window and yells, “QUIT WHILE YOU’RE NOT AHEAD!” Little do they know they actually gave me the determination to run 1 minute longer than I thought I could. Again I was thankful I was the one that took the brunt of these careless words yelled at a young woman clearly making an effort to change her life. I am thankful because I can see and hear past their comments. It doesn’t make the words hurt any less, but I was so determined that I wouldn’t let their words stop me…whereas those words could be the final straw for someone trying to make a change!

So what was the third thing that someone yelled at me? Well I was on the same path as above running alongside the golf course and in the middle of my run, I’m fighting to make it up the hill!! When a woman riding a bike heading the opposite direction of me shouts, “YOU GO GIRL”:D Finally a someone with a beautiful heart. Her words gave me strength to push and keep running! I wish I could tell that girl how much her words meant to me. It’s not easy to get out and run in public being 100+ pounds overweight. There are times I have waited to run my interval until there are no cars driving by so that I don’t have to worry what someone might think, throw at me, or yell at me!

The fourth instance I’ve now experienced was today on my run. I was almost done with my run and a guy biking towards me laughed and hollered, “WHERE ARE THE ZOMBIES?!” this time I wasn’t going to have the bullying and yelled back, “EATING MY DUST!” I’m at the point where I am fighting for myself. People can be rude, insensitive, and cruel but this blog has shown me how many more people are rooting and cheering for me! For that I am thankful!

So if you’ve unfortunately experienced someone’s lack of respect and momentary lapse in decency towards another human being do not be discouraged! Their words only add fuel to our fire! They confirm the reason we’re fighting…so that we can keep running, so that we can stand our ground, so that we can become the fighters we should’ve been our entire life!

Next time you’re on a run you may hear me yell, “WAY TO GO!” or “KEEP IT UP” “YOU’RE DOING AWESOME” or I may simply give a thumbs up! Because just putting on your workout clothes and taking those first steps out your door is some of the hardest steps you can take! It’s not all rainbows and butterflies but you can hold fast to the simple truth that you did it…you took the first step!